


Black Hand

by sunshinekat



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, M/M, Memory Loss, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:42:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinekat/pseuds/sunshinekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone took Ciel and when he was found he was not the same child Sebastian had found in a cage. This was not the boy who gave up everything even his own soul for survival, for POWER. This was not his meal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

a/n I'm not pretending to know how memory loss works or amnesia, so if anyone has any pointers or ideas feel free to leave them in the comment section! :D

 

In the foggy month of October, Ciel Phantomhive woke with the sun. His butler, a man of great stature, elegance and a kind hand helped him dress. He was given lovely pastries to eat and sweet tea to drink. Afterward he would study history, art, music and economics with the help of his talented butler. He was again introduced to the cook, the scullery maid, the coachman and the gardener, all charming people but he realized sadly that tonight, once again, he would forget their names.

Ciel sat in his study looking over the business affairs of his inheritance left to him by his father. The Funtom toy company, everything seemed in order, or at least that is what he thought. He couldn’t remember what exactly he had planned for the company in the coming year. He hoped he could get better before the new year reared its head.

His butler, Sebastian he was called, yes, Sebastian came and told him it was time for lunch. Ciel Phantomhive smiled and thanked him. He followed his butler out of the study and to the dining room where he was served delights he’d never had before. Sebastian said it was his favorite. Ciel had no reason to think otherwise.

“Young Master, when you’ve finished your lunch you have a guest in the garden waiting for you.” Sebastian said with a bow.

Ciel finished his food quickly, excited at the idea of a visitor, such mystery!

Ciel jumped off his chair and followed Sebastian out to the gardens, what awaited him was a stranger, a tall red haired man with glasses and a chainsaw. The man turned and grinned at him with sharp teeth.

“Well, hello there Ciel Phantomhive.” He said looming over Ciel with a dark chuckle.

“Control yourself, Grell.” Sebastian said stepping in to stand beside Ciel.

Ciel stared up at the man with the feeling that he knew him, his last name was on the tip of Ciel’s tongue. Why couldn’t he remember, it had something to do with the color red.

There was nothing, his mind went blank and he sighed sadly, “I’m so sorry, I cannot remember your name, I have been ill I’m afraid.” Ciel held his hand out for a greeting, “let us start again if it’s no bother.”

Grell looked puzzled, he gave Sebastian a look, “You weren’t kidding were you love,” he said, shaking Ciel’s hand. “Grell Sutcliff, grim reaper, a pleasure to meet you Earl of Phantomhive.”

For some odd reason, Ciel wasn’t surprised that the man had called himself a grim reaper, in fact, he believed him wholeheartedly. Was the world truly such a wondrous place?

He asked Sebastian that question later, during their Latin class.

“Of course Young Master,” Sebastian said, “There are also witches, sorcerers…werewolves.”

“What about angels?” Ciel asked, “And faeries, are there faeries?” Ciel scribbled down on his note paper what he hoped were the right answers.

He hadn’t noticed Sebastian looking at him.

After a minute he glanced at his butler, “Are you alright Sebastian?”

“Yes,” Sebastian said, his usual smile sliding onto his face.

“What are we having for dinner tonight Sebastian?” Ciel asked as he struggled with remembering how to spell certain words and the meaning of others. Latin was hard on him.

Sebastian was speaking but something caught Ciel’s attention outside the window. It was the gardener, Fin something or other, he was sitting down by the flower beds with the coachman…sn… _snake._ Yes, the man with scales. They were chatting, smiling. Seeing Snake smile made Ciel sad, something in his chest burned with guilt, he was lying about something to Snake. He had a secret. Something twitched in the back of his head and he turned to Sebastian who was putting his books down. He felt like that about Sebastian also, that there was a great secret there.

Sebastian told him they were done with their lessons and Ciel’s thoughts ceased to linger on such grim things.

Dinner was slow, the food was warm but Ciel’s head was pounding and it was hard for him to concentrate. He told Sebastian that he couldn’t finish it and Sebastian only smiled calmly and told him that it was time for bed soon anyway.

Sebastian helped him bathe, Ciel asked for him to wash his back, he felt an ache in his lower back for some odd reason, he couldn’t see back there so he wasn’t sure. He also found strange shaped bruises on his knees and thighs, his wrists had fading bruises as well. He sat in the warm water as Sebastian washed his back and wondered if he should ask about them.

“Where did all these marks come from Sebastian?”

“When you had your accident, young master, we found you like that.” There was a coldness in his voice.

“Do you think I’ll be able to remember again?” he said it softly, afraid that he would make Sebastian upset. Sebastian’s hands stopped moving, they slid up to his shoulders and stayed there as the soapy water sluiced down his marred back.

“You will remember Young Master.”

Sebastian’s words brought a sense of relief that Ciel hadn’t expected, and as he dried up and dressed for bed he thought that maybe tomorrow he would remember the servant’s names.

Sebastian tucked Ciel into bed that night. And as Ciel lay there in the dark under the light of the moon he stared at the shadows on the wall. Sebastian was sitting by the bed with a single candle and a novel. Ciel found the light too bothersome for him to fall asleep so he turned to Sebastian with the blankets drawn up to his chin, “Sebastian, you can go for tonight. I shall see you come morning.”

Sebastian glanced down at him with a surprised look, almost offended.

“Very well, young master.” He said standing up, “Sleep well.”

Ciel waited until Sebastian was gone and then he let the slow moving shadows of the trees on his bedroom wall lull him to sleep.


	2. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back...

Somewhere in London he’d been stolen from the carriage, right under Sebastian’s nose. He had turned to keep an eye on the perimeter and when he turned back the boy was gone. The ache on the back of his hand burned violently and would worsen until he found him. Snake had sent out his little friends to search the streets and alleyways as Sebastian loomed over rooftops and listened intently to the voices of the public below for any clue as to where his young master was taken. All he had to do was say Sebastian’s name, in his thoughts, with his tongue and Sebastian would know and he would come and tear apart the thing that dared put their hand on his young master.

There was nothing coming from the boy’s side of the contract, no thought, no plea, no _name._

In the four hours Ciel Phantomhive was gone, Sebastian had sat atop the London Tower listening for the sound of screaming.

In the end it was Snake who found him, unconscious in an alleyway, his clothes torn, bruised and beaten. Sebastian had knelt down and picked the body up from the wet ground. Had anyone but Snake been near by he would have put on a great show of looking tormented, perhaps crying out, a single tear sliding down his pale cheek as he looked at his poor young master.

But Snake was walking back to the carriage and Ciel didn’t feel like a boy in his arms. It felt as if someone had taken his roast out too soon from the oven and left it on the counter to cool, letting it’s delectable juices leak out onto the surface below. All he had to do was put it back in, but it wouldn’t’ be the same would it? When it was done it wouldn’t taste the way it would have if it hadn’t been taken out in the first place.

His meal was ruined. Sebastian put the boy in the carriage and examined his wounds. Whoever had taken him had had their fun. There were bitemarks on his neck and shoulders, his knuckles were raw from whatever he’d been doing with them, punching perhaps. How amusing, to imagine Ciel punching anything. His knobby knees were torn up, one of his shoes was missing and his naked foot was covered in grime. Looking at the muck on his young master’s soft, pale feet led to the greater disturbance in Ciel’s current condition. His bottom half was a mess, the black bruises on his thighs and his hips, finger marks and scratches mapping his pale skin, showing what was done to him without mercy.

Why hadn’t he cried out? Had it happened in such a way that he couldn’t even think of Sebastian’s name? To be conscious while such violence happened to him, the boy had been branded and his screams had called to Sebastian like sweet music. But this, Sebastian stared down at the damage done, the marks on his meal and he honestly doubted that it was worth staying for.

That it was worth letting the boy simmer and soften, try to regain the flavor he’d lost. His meat would be tough after this.

_Ruined._

They’d arrived at almost midnight, Sebastian didn’t wake the servants, he didn’t even go through hthe front door, he grabbed the boy’s body and jumped up to the rooftop and took him to his bathroom where he washed off the grime and treated the boy’s wounds. Once Ciel was in bed and under the covers Sebastian stood by the window and waited.

The boy would wake, sooner or later, he would wake.


	3. Glimmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the Seventeenth of October...

Ciel didn’t know who Elizabeth was, but she was more patient than the others, she didn’t ask him questions that tested his memory. She only told him who she was and that no matter what she still loved him. She came often for tea, stayed later than was proper only to say goodnight. He was sad for her, sad that she had to come every day and remind him of who she was. He knew her face, but not her name, and every single time they met she had to tell him, over and over again that she loved him and they were going to get married.

Elizabeth told him to keep a diary, write down what happens during the day and before he went to bed and to sleep with it in his arms so that when he woke up he could read it and remember. She brought him a lovely leather bound journal with his family crest embedded in the center. Sebastian provided him the pen and Ciel set to writing immediately after tea-time.

It was that same evening; when he had arrived to the current moment and went to return to them that he saw her crying. Sebastian touched her shoulder with one gloved hand and said something, Elizabeth wiped her tears away and nodded. Ciel didn’t know when to make himself known, he didn’t want to trouble them he didn’t…but she was his fiancé right? Why was she crying to Sebastian? Ciel felt jealousy pierce his chest, she was _his_ fiancé not Sebastian’s! Sebastian did what he wanted with women, he laid with women as if it were only a game to him, the mere thought of that happening to Elizabeth made Ciel sick. He stepped out and made his presence known. “Sebastian!” he said loudly, “More tea please!”

Sebastian took his hand away, Elizabeth had turned around suddenly, cheeks dry and green eyes wide with surprise. “Of course, young master.” Sebastian said with a placid smile and a bow, he then left them alone to acquire more tea.  Ciel went to Elizabeth and took her hands in his, “I apologize for his behavior that was highly improper.” he said with an apologetic gaze.

Elizabeth looked surprised, “Ciel," she smiled, "It is alright, Sebastian was only giving me comfort,” she said kissing his cheek, “We are all having such a hard time with you being ill, but Sebastian is having it harder than all of us.” She smiled at him, “Now would you like to play some chess?”

Sebastian was his butler, but he was only a servant. Something in the back of Ciel’s mind didn’t agree however, but each day that passed Ciel read again and again through the diary, and he found that Sebastian was strange. He was too polite, too kind, too understanding. He had a face like a doll, like he wasn’t really alive. A flash of horror passed through Ciel when he found that he believed that, just as he had believed that Grell Sutcliff was a grim reaper.

Foolish!

None of that was true of course, it was ridiculous. But he wrote down his thoughts anyway, perhaps the person he was tomorrow would make more sense of it. As he wrote in his journal he caught Sebastian watching him. “What?” he asked.

“I was wondering if the young master’s journal offers any clarity on his situation.”

“It certainly does Sebastian, I know the servant’s names now.”

“From the moment the young master wakes?”

“From the moment I wake, yes,” Ciel said with a satisfied smile.

Sebastian smiled back, but it was a tight, agitated expression, “Would the young master mind terribly if I stated a question for the journal?”

A question? What could he possibly want to ask?

Ciel closed the journal and offered it to Sebastian. Sebastian walked to him and picked up the diary, he opened the page for the following day and wrote something down and handed it back.

“I implore the young master not to answer the question on that page until he truly remembers what happened.”

Ciel opened his diary and looked at what Sebastian had written it wasn’t a question at all!

“On the seventeenth of October, I went to London to see Sir August Brown…”

“That is not a question” Ciel snapped, “What is this hogwash!?”

“I only wish to help my young master, the seventeenth of October was the day of your accident, if you should remember something from that day if may help you recover.” Sebastian said.

Ciel scowled at Sebastian, “I know what happened that day, you told me.”

“There are particulars that are outside of my grasp, young master.”

“What are you saying?”

“Young master, forgive my boldness, but you were taken from the carriage, you were missing for several hours, it was Mr. Snake who found you, not I. What happened in those missing hours, who it was that took you from the carriage, these are things even I do not know.”

It frustrated Ciel greatly to hear Sebastian say that.  He bit his lip hard enough to bleed, Sebastian was supposed to know. He was supposed to know everything that went on in this household so how was it that he couldn’t FIX THIS!?

Ciel suddenly gasped for breath, Sebastian was at his side to stop him from falling off his chair. Ciel shoved him away and covered his hot face with his hands, “Get out!” he snarled, “Get out you failure!”

He didn’t see Sebastian’s expression, or his reaction to his words but when he looked his butler was gone.

Ciel skipped his dinner that night, he waited in his room for Sebastian to appear and when he did he kicked him out. He didn’t bathe and he didn’t dress for bed, he sat by the window insistent on staying awake. Alone in the candlelight he stared at his diary, at the entry Sebastian had written just waiting for something to happen, for a vision, a memory to flash in his mind.

Instead there were the shadows on the bedroom wall, the glimmer of the candle and the cold hard floor beneath him as he fell asleep.


	4. Torment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blind to the truth.

Ciel Phantomhive sneered at him from his side of the carriage. Sebastian could sense his thirst for blood and let the sneer pass unchecked. It would be fine as long as he didn’t do it in polite company. August Brown was the missing link the boy needed to get to the humans who damaged him so terribly on the night they met. Sebastian was thrilled, he enjoyed a good mystery. Ciel however was desperate, the boy was being rash coming all the way to London for this, he was the Earl of Phantomhive, the Queen’s Dog, everyone would know he was in town. And if August Brown slipped away because of this than it would be a long time before Ciel Phantomhive would find him again.

But his lace cuff had a tear in it.

“Don’t bother with it. Let’s just go.”

“It would be humiliating for the Phantomhive family name if Mr. Brown saw the tear in your cuff, are you willing to risk it?”

Ciel gave him that dead-eyed stare, no he didn’t care but what fourteen-year-old cared about a lace cuff.

“We’re making the stop.” Sebastian said, “No more than five minutes.”

No more than five minutes.

“Who are you?”

The fear on the boy’s face, the tiny bit of hope in his gaze that clung to the idea that Sebastian of all people wasn’t going to do him harm. The trembling hands, the anxious chewing of the bottom lip, he could smell the sweat on the back of his bruised neck.

It made Sebastian sick to see it, almost frantic. They couldn’t have damaged him this much could they? How much more was the boy missing?

Half his life pretty much. He knew his parents were gone, but he didn’t know their names, he didn’t know anyone’s names. He was a blank slate, a pale shadow of the animal that Ciel Phantomhive was. He followed Sebastian around like a lost chick, twittering and asking inane questions. There was no haughty, arrogant brat demanding power and the blood of his enemies.

Sebastian tried to provoke his memory but bringing that unpleasant grim reaper Grell for a visit. It was a pitiful attempt that ended in failure. Grell almost looked like he felt sorry for them, that is a moment later he offered his body for comfort, typical grim reaper.

The bruises faded more every day, Ciel could walk normally again, his hands were no longer bandaged but there was no sign, no mental recovery. He lived every day as he had the first, in fear and uncertainty. These two things were marring his soul, each day in misery made his delicate scent sour. Sebastian often caught himself looming over the boy in bed wanting to just devour him now before more of his hard work was ruined. But he took a deep breath and calmed himself, his fury shouldn’t’ be aimed at the boy, the foolish brat didn’t know he was going to be snatched up like that, not at all. Now if he could just remember who took him than Sebastian could mete out a good punishment and Ciel would be on his way to recovery.

Instead however, the boy was writing it all down in his little diary, writing down names, smiling at strangers and helping Finny in the garden. Sebastian finally allowed Elizabeth to visit and she made things worse by bringing back the Ciel that she loved. Didn’t last long though, having to do that every time she visited wore her down to bones, and now she was more sad than angry, more tears than the Elizabeth who had put him in a bonnet. Sebastian would have felt bad for her, but he had other business to attend to. That is, the business of fixing his meal.

That little phrase ought to do it, if nothing else it might give him nightmares. Nightmares would wake him up. The boy needed to get it together because they were never going to be closer to his enemies than they were now.

That was, until one morning a request for a visit arrived from a mister August Brown.

Ciel was staring at him from his seat in his study. He looked over the invitation, “Let him come,” Ciel said. Not in the way a cat waiting for a mouse would, no, it was like a gentle doe sniffing the barrel of a rifle. Sebastian smiled patiently, “Is the young master sure he doesn’t not want to wait until he is better before receiving more visitors?”

“The young master is certain,” Ciel said with all the certainty of a puppy looking at a bigger, angrier dog. Sebastian had half a mind to take him aside and…no, no that would worsen his condition.

How could he make it so that the foolish boy would listen? How could he make him pliant and obedient without making him afraid?

When that man came he would know Ciel and he would know Sebastian and Ciel’s plan would fall apart. His enemies would disappear, they would-

He allowed the tears to fall and the arrogance on Ciel’s face turned to surprise and then to worry.

“Sebastian?”

Sebastian went to his young master and knelt down before him, touching his scarred knees with the tips of his gloved fingers, “Oh, young master…” he said softly, “I implore you do not let that man in your household…” He looked at the boy’s face expecting against all his instincts that he would have that insufferable smirk on his face. But Ciel was sad, he touched Sebastian’s cheek, “Why?”

“I suspect him,” Sebastian said, angry, furious that Ciel had been beaten down like this.

“Oh Sebastian, you are being silly-“

“When you were found there were signs…” Sebastian chocked out, he took the boy’s hands from his face and put them on his lap covering them with his own, an intimacy not allowed before this moment.

_How dare you touch me!?_

He would have been caned for his insolence.

“Signs?”

“Violation…young master.” Sebastian whispered keeping the mockery out of his tone, “You went to London to see Mr. August Brown, I fear that he might have known you were coming and sent…ruffians…” he choked on a sob, “my poor young master!” he buried his face in the boy’s lap and waited.

There was silence, the boy didn’t move only breathed. “H-How do you know he…how do you know if he did it?”

“I only suspect,” Sebastian said raising his head letting his shameful face show.

“no…the…the violation how do you know?” Ciel bit his lip and the agony on his face would have been lovely in other circumstances.

“The bruises young master…you do not recall your first days after the accident?”

Of course he didn’t. he wouldn’t stop screaming, crying, wouldn’t let anyone near him.

It had been a long night, listening to the screams and the crying. But some time during the night it had stopped, Sebastian and gotten a tray of tea and decided to test the waters. He found Ciel standing naked in front of his bedroom window staring outside. When he saw Sebastian he smiled, “Come, come look!”

Sebastian had allowed himself to go to the boy’s side. It was the grounds at night, the moonflowers, the stars, the empty dark sky but Ciel Phantomhive was staring out at it like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

The painless innocence in his smile, all torn and bruised as he was, shaking with hunger and his face still stained with tears. It had all been erased.

“The proof has healed,” Sebastian said, “but I do not wish for it to happen again…please young master…” he put as much emotion into his voice as he could, killing August Brown was the only solution otherwise.

“You worry too much, Sebastian.” Ciel said, “Mr. Brown surely had nothing to do with this.”

The blatant ignorance in his tone, the arrogance of ignoring Sebastian’s warnings, perhaps he should let the man come, let him come and see the boy, let him take the brat away and do what he wished!

Sebastian stood and recovered wiping his wet cheeks and when he saw the way Ciel looked at him, the pity in his gaze he turned away and left the room. His hand burned as if he’d dipped it in hot oil but he couldn’t bear to be in the same room with that foolish _foolish_ boy!


	5. Opium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel sees but doesn't believe.

 

Lau told him to have a seat in his own home. Ciel found that odd, odd and charming. Lau looked like a trustworthy person and so he sat down. Lau looked surprised, and he smiled like a cat. Ciel giggled, “What are you smoking?” he asked. Lau offered him some and Ciel took it, Sebastian was making tea so he didn’t have a say and if he didn’t see him do it than he couldn’t complain. Lau chuckled, “isn’t your butler going to disagree Ciel?”

“He’s not here is he?”

“Oh I like this new rebellious young master!” Lau said taking a seat right beside Ciel. It was a bit cramped but Ciel didn’t mind, the drawing room wasn’t really meant for sitting anyway. The smoke seemed to fill his entire body, leaving something sticky behind and making his head hurt. He leaned on Lau for support, enjoying his warmth. “I feel strange…” he said. Lau chuckled and put him on his lap, Ciel leaned against his chest now, taking another breath from the pipe. He felt guilty for doing this and then a moment later he didn’t. “Your tea, young master.”

“No long winded description about it Sebastian?” Lau asked, curling his fingers around Ciel’s waist.

“The young master requested I cease doing that, as it puts him off his tea.”

“how amusing.” Lau says, Ciel wraps his arms around Lau’s neck and stays there, feeling like he was clinging to the edge of a cliff.

“Ciel, are you alright?” Lau asks him, peeling his hands off his neck and sitting him back down on his lap, Ciel gazes at him, seeing sparkles flicker brightly above his head.

“I’m very much alright uncle Lau!” Ciel said with a big smile, oh, he’d almost forgotten Sebastian. He turned to speak to him but Sebastian wasn’t there…instead of his servant there was a thing made of shadows and eyes standing his place staring right at him. “S-…Sebastian?” he whispered shakily as he shrank against Lau’s body, “S-Sebastian!” he cried, “stop that right now! Stop it!” tears began to stream down his face and he screamed, Lau turned him away from the monster and held him close gently petting him until he calmed down.

“Young master-“

“I think you’d better go, Sebastian.” Lau said.

There was no sound, no reply, nothing and the good, warm feeling returned and Ciel relaxed in Lau’s grasp. He allowed Lau to hold him and carry him somewhere more comfortable.

Once in this comfortable place Ciel curled into the soft blankets and covered himself up, he lingered in the wonderful feelings it gave him and stared into the cool darkness that needed no stars for him to see its beauty. Until he saw the bars of a cage...until he felt the cold hard stone beneath his body… until…until he felt the scorching burn of something behind pressed into his side. He screamed, begged for help, anything, for anyone to save him but there was nothing and it seemed as if the darkness had swallowed him whole.

Inside the darkness he felt hands latched onto his ankles and wrists, teeth digging into his shoulder and a kind voice whispering to him, apologizing, telling him that it was all going to be just fine.

When Ciel read about the experience in his journal he chortled, “goodness, I have quite the imagination, don’t I Sebastian?” he handed the book to his butler who took it with a patient smile and read the half page that the entire absurd dream took up. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Ciel oddly, “Indeed you do, young master.” He said handing the journal back. Ciel sighed, “When is Mr. Brown due to visit?” Sebastian placed a small plate with a slice of chocolate pie down for Ciel, “Ah, yes…” he straigtened and handed Ciel the newspaper he had held under one arm. Ciel waved it away, “Not today Sebastian, reading newspapers is dreadfully boring to me.”

“I see, well young master, it seems that Mr. Brown was…killed late last night.” Sebastian sighed sadly, “His homestead is in uproar and not even an apology note was sent. I myself found out this morning.”

Ciel frowned, his chest throbbed painfully, his head hurt and he suddenly felt very angry, almost helpless to his own rage. Before he could think better of it he shoved the dishes off the table, jumped up from his seat and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Young master!” Sebastian gasped, “Please calm down-“

But there was something in his tone, something familiar and mocking. It infuriated Ciel, he turned on his butler, recalling his kind smiles, his gentle hand and trying to believe that he was being a good servant, that Sebastian Michaelis was a good man. But he wasn’t. He was a rude, imposing wretch!

“Get out Sebastian!”

Sebastian narrowed his gaze, how rude! How dare a mere servant-

“I said you are dismissed, I will have that other butler write you a letter of recommendation but you are not my butler anymore!”

Sebastian straightened and smiled passively, “I do not believe that that is the right choice to make young master.”

Ciel felt so furious he couldn’t contain himself and screamed again, he started picking up broken glass shards and hurling at the smiling man. He jumped up and down he was so angry he couldn’t release it any other way, his eyes burned painfully and he wiped at them with his hands but his left eye wouldn’t stop. He screamed in pain now and Sebastian chuckled, “Young master, please calm down.” The way he said that made Ciel even angrier, “I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!” he shouted, “You bloody wretch! You malevolent twit I wish you would just die!”

Suddenly there was no sound. Everything went very quiet, Ciel throat stung from screaming and his left eye had lost sight and the world was spinning. Ciel fell down on his behind and started to cry. He was no longer angry he was afraid. He didn’t want to be left alone like this. His desperation led him to crawling to his butler’s feet and latching onto his legs sobbing. He cried Sebastian’s name but he couldn’t hear himself, nothing made any sense anymore and everything hurt. His side hurt like he’d been burned, it ached and stung under his clothes and he just wanted comfort. He didn’t want to hurt anymore. He looked up at Sebastian’s face and saw his placid smile; his eternally amused gaze shone not ember but crimson. The monster knelt down and pulled Ciel up into his arms and as he did the world slowly stopped spinning, and sound came back, first muffled and he buried his face in Sebastian’s chest. He heard him speak, “Oh, silly young master.” Ciel kept his face hidden and as he calmed down something new and horrible became real.

His butler had no heartbeat.


End file.
